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DISCLAIMER: All presidential candidates that could be contacted were invited to take part in interviews with The Witness for the Election Week Special.
Taking time away from his motley crew of swashbucklers, Guild President candidate Captain Hook Tallon sat down with our Editor-in-Chief Sarah Décory and Senior Editor Ciara Howard to discuss the dangers facing the student body, the lessons he learned from his unsuccessful presidential campaign last year, and why a pirate king is the way forward for the University of Exeter.
Describing himself as the “third fiercest pirate to have ever sailed the seven seas”, Captain Hook Tallon has risen from the ashes of his defeat last year, determined to fulfil his promise to make our Student’s Guild the “talk of the seas”. He seems undeterred following the 2023 Guild Elections; after he got word about the struggles facing Exeter students, he moored his ship ‘The Trey O’ War’ and regrouped, ready to fight another day.
Much like the candidate himself, at first glance, Captain Hook’s main concerns seem quite niche. Captain Tallon fears the absence of free limes and rum rations on campus, the fact that gold doubloons are not legal tender on university premises and that students are losing their ability to be their “true swashbuckling selves, under a Guild that be taking away democracy”. Most importantly, what plagues Captain Tallon most is the lack of protection against “the returning beast, the Vote Goat”, also known as the University of Exeter Guild’s mascot. Accusing the Vote Goat of stealing his eye (hence the eye patch) and killing his father, the Captain is set on being the hero that will liberate all students from such a “fearsome beast”. Looking beyond the pirate charm and his inflatable parrot companion, however, it is clear that Captain Hook Tallon has some clear ideas for if he wins the presidency. He emphasises the difficulties facing students during the cost of living crisis, with many finding it difficult to source affordable and nutritional food. He also criticises the current state of the Guild; namely the lack of student participation in decision-making, with them only being able to contribute through surveys, and hoping that Guild staff members will do right by them. A Captain Hook Tallon-led ‘Pirate’s Guild’ aims to provide all with a direct voice to decide the direction of student politics in Exeter. From his point of view, the Guild currently seems to be nothing more than a figurehead, with Tallon’s response to this being “Let’s give them a pirate”.
The Captain believes that he is best positioned to take over as president given his experiences aboard his pirate ship. He recounts how he supposedly faced seven attempts at mutiny whilst plundering and pillaging cities along the Devon coast, finding treasure in the darkest of places. He hopes to bring these nautical experiences and pirate values to the university student body who, from Tallon’s perspective, are crying out for a true pirate to speak for them all. Despite his suggestion of reintroducing duals to settle disputes on campus, commandeering The Ram, and turning the Guild offices into a “grand grog brewery”, he is dedicated to his “crew” – the students of Exeter – promising to defend and protect them. He wants to make Exeter’s campus a welcome place for all, affording every person the ability to be their “true pirate self”.
Captain Hook Tallon’s unique selling point is clear and speaks to those who feel uninterested or not represented by the Guild. In his own words, he explains: “If ye be disillusioned, if ye be tired of the same candidates every year, then what better way to show that then be voting for me”. The Captain understands that a victory for the ‘Exeter Pirate’s Guild’ would be a significant blow to the status quo, and believes he is the candidate to shake things up. A pirate as the figurehead of the Guild, giving graduation speeches and being in charge of the most important student-elected office within the University of Exeter would be a big statement but Captain Hook Tallon is positive that a swashbuckling pirate is exactly what Exeter needs to “sail off into a brighter sunset”.
However, there may be more surprises in store concerning Captain Hook Tallon and his plans. He confesses that he has been experiencing an existential crisis this year, contemplating the question: “Be I a man? Or be I a pirate?”. Will he transform before everyone’s eyes into a polished Guild-approved statesman? Or will Streatham Campus be welcoming its first pirate king to its shores?
Campaign page: @captainhook4guildpresident
Image: Exeter Guild, 2024
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